IS PEGGY LEE THE ANSWER? by Wagenblatz

Parallel Universe. 15

Once in a land brighter than this one
There was a shady lady named Peggy Lee
Produced a voice, whisper of a shadow
Now the dame who's known as Rachel Maddow
Invokes the name of the dame named Peggy Lee
The lady who whispered a Silly Symphony:
Is that all there is?

In fact, Republicans might hustle along
Behind Ms. Maddow: make this their themesong
Raise their Jim Beam-addled, hoarse old voices
To invoke their list of unconventional choices
Reflecting upon which, they might add, Gee Whiz,
If this is what we've got, is that all there is?

They racked Michelle Bachmann up to adore her
Never mind the homeschooling gone on before her
Nevermind the fury of this Babe from Stillwaters
One of the Teapartiest of Teaparty daughters
Shook when she held out her corpulent huz
About whom there was a very nasty buzz
Before they'd finished recoiling from his and her
nasty phiz,
The Ghost of Peggy Lee, who would never behave,
Rose up like Fromasera out of her grave
Whispered to every Republican diz,
If this is the best you got, is that all there is?

So they reached for Austin, all bright and merry
Summoned up the smiling face of Little Rick Perry
Threw him onstage with a host of Machers
Found out he was dumber than all those cockers
At least he had come up with a swell solution
When he made a cottage industry out of execution!

Is that all there is? They mumbled in haste
Swiftly turned to a Brother with a different taste
Big Herman Cain with his permanent tan
Sayin' he didn't give a BLANK where was
Uz-bekki-bekki-bekki-stan

That is all there isn't, they moaned, shaking their heads,
Taking Michelle and Mitt and Rick and Herman
Out to their various woodsheds
Staring at Mitt and that other Schnorrmann
Culling solemn homilies out of the Book of Mormon
Mitt had done some things they didn't consider nice
And had a personality like a block of ice.

Then out of the night there rose such a clatter,
They ripped off their trusses to see what was the matter
There, dressed as Santa, lookin' real cute,
Was that bombastic, plastic loose cannon Newt!
Though he has a tongue that can raise a blista
And a letter-opener he calls Callista.

Over our land, shining from sea to sea,
Peggy Lee sends out her epiphany
Is that all there is? She cries. No. That's not all
They can still quaff that Mickey called Ron Paul.

So for each and every GOP Gandy-dancer
They must all be asking: is Peggy Lee the answer?

Is that all there is? Is that all there is?
If that's all there is then let's keep dancing
Let's break out the booze and have a ball
If that's all there is.