BREAKFAST by Dennis "Wagenblatz" Doph

Parallel Lines. 17

Ah,
This fella and me we felt so free
In the bustle of Christmas Eve
He merrily felt right under my belt
Ran his fingers up my sleeve
Felt for fur as if I were a cur
Or a babbling marmoset
But when we awoke as Christmas Day broke
I hadn't seen the best of it yet

He sucked my cock for breakfast
While I grew and grew and grew
And the Taming of Me was something to see
Like the Taming of the Shrew
He rimmed out a bit my stunning piss slit
Then took the damn thing down in his throat
Pumped it until it started to spit
Put the Issue on Remote

Then he rolled me back on my shoulders
Stuck his tongue right into my ass
Played Rock and then Roll with my juicy manhole
And with a move which was even more crass
Lubed up his effervesence
With a carton of applesauce
Proceeded to give me every drop of his essence
To show me just who was Boss

And with a plumb of one mighty thumb
He breached my Ancestral Vault
Pushed in its brother and then another
None of which was my fault
Then with a twist of his very hairy wrist
I became like Belle le Grand
On his wrist, I was waltzed on like Vera Hruba Ralston
And nothing was second hand!

Then,
Throwing himself Down There on his Bones of Prayer
In ways too immediate to mention
He proceeded to engulf and drain my Wolf
To express his good intention
Yeah, he sucked me off for breakfast
With a Brolly and many a Munch
We proceeded to be fine with a 69
And proceeded right into Lunch!

ARRESTED MAN DIES by Wagenblatz

Parallel Universe . 16

ARRESTED MAN DIES FROM EATING COCAINE
HIDDEN IN BROTHER'S BUTT

Dateline, December 20, 2011
A true life story of brotherly love, from heaven!

North Charleston, located in South Carolina
Where no cop-car chase could be anything finer
Than the pursuit of Mitchell Brothers DeAngelo and Wayne
Faced with a life of Slammer-booty and pain

Mitchells transporting crack cocaine in their car
Should have hid the crack intact in an old fruit jar
DeAngelo foiled police, hoping to deflect 'em,
Put a full lid of crack up his hairy rectum.

Police videos show enterprising DeAngelo
Begging Baby Bro to eat out the blow.
Wayne chowed down on this Enterprising Clown,
Eating out Big Brother's ass for all Charleston Town.

Then, fried, Wayne died.
Overdosed with a glut of way too much crack and butt.

I, who have been labelled the Prince of Shtupp,
Could never make anything like this up!

DeAngelo bonded out of jail on the first,
Seeming like a caricature by Damian Hurst
Looking cadaverous, cold, and mean,
But Jesus Wept, boys! His ass was clean.

Now he's out looking for another Butt Otter
While the Fuzz have got him booked for manslaughter.

Oh, Carolina Moon! Keep shining
Shining on the one who eats for me.
Watch video, courtesy ABC4,
If you want to lose all the cookies in your store.

IS PEGGY LEE THE ANSWER? by Wagenblatz

Parallel Universe. 15

Once in a land brighter than this one
There was a shady lady named Peggy Lee
Produced a voice, whisper of a shadow
Now the dame who's known as Rachel Maddow
Invokes the name of the dame named Peggy Lee
The lady who whispered a Silly Symphony:
Is that all there is?

In fact, Republicans might hustle along
Behind Ms. Maddow: make this their themesong
Raise their Jim Beam-addled, hoarse old voices
To invoke their list of unconventional choices
Reflecting upon which, they might add, Gee Whiz,
If this is what we've got, is that all there is?

They racked Michelle Bachmann up to adore her
Never mind the homeschooling gone on before her
Nevermind the fury of this Babe from Stillwaters
One of the Teapartiest of Teaparty daughters
Shook when she held out her corpulent huz
About whom there was a very nasty buzz
Before they'd finished recoiling from his and her
nasty phiz,
The Ghost of Peggy Lee, who would never behave,
Rose up like Fromasera out of her grave
Whispered to every Republican diz,
If this is the best you got, is that all there is?

So they reached for Austin, all bright and merry
Summoned up the smiling face of Little Rick Perry
Threw him onstage with a host of Machers
Found out he was dumber than all those cockers
At least he had come up with a swell solution
When he made a cottage industry out of execution!

Is that all there is? They mumbled in haste
Swiftly turned to a Brother with a different taste
Big Herman Cain with his permanent tan
Sayin' he didn't give a BLANK where was
Uz-bekki-bekki-bekki-stan

That is all there isn't, they moaned, shaking their heads,
Taking Michelle and Mitt and Rick and Herman
Out to their various woodsheds
Staring at Mitt and that other Schnorrmann
Culling solemn homilies out of the Book of Mormon
Mitt had done some things they didn't consider nice
And had a personality like a block of ice.

Then out of the night there rose such a clatter,
They ripped off their trusses to see what was the matter
There, dressed as Santa, lookin' real cute,
Was that bombastic, plastic loose cannon Newt!
Though he has a tongue that can raise a blista
And a letter-opener he calls Callista.

Over our land, shining from sea to sea,
Peggy Lee sends out her epiphany
Is that all there is? She cries. No. That's not all
They can still quaff that Mickey called Ron Paul.

So for each and every GOP Gandy-dancer
They must all be asking: is Peggy Lee the answer?

Is that all there is? Is that all there is?
If that's all there is then let's keep dancing
Let's break out the booze and have a ball
If that's all there is.

TO SEXUALLY SPECIFY by Chateaud

Parallel Universe. 14 Chateaud, aka Wagenblatz

OMIGOD
yes boys, let us be specific
About all the Man Things I find terrific
Though I mess around
With myself, hating to be alone from them
Just can't wait
To get another big bone from them!

First there is
The impossibly furry chest
Wondering
Which of my men friends's pelts I like best
Is it Bdawg, in Athens,
who qualifies as a bear manque?
Or Wooky in Rockford,
Whose pink chest just blows my socks away?

Then
There is the issue of the cock-hungry mouth
Depraving
All my essential sexual parts, North, West and South
For the man who can excite my hungriest Beast
Bleumoon in SoCal, who also satisfies my East

Or
Spermseeking Martinguys in Martin Tennessee
Who vie
To find out which of their hungry mouths
Can succor Great Big Me

Then there are nipples. God!
How I love to milk the man who fucks me
While that Wooky
Kneels between my thighs and sucks me
I intend
To celebrate thoroughly these bodacious queers
All around
and through this auspicious New Year's

I'm sending off all kinds of sexual ripples
Take those pumps off your nips, Daddybear!
Let me at those nipples.

Last! But not least.
Yielding, pink, hopefully hairy
Butt of Man
Pleasing
This Butt Wolf like no other sexual symptom can

After
I have spent at least half an hour
Rimming out its treasures
THEN and only then
Will I enter and shtupp out its pleasures.

So, boys:

I know you do what you do really superfine
Let's see which one of you
Gets to be first in line!